Do you lot ever direct maintain i of those days where you lot wishing as well as long as well as for the solid set down to swallow you lot up, where you lot expression inward the mirror as well as over analyze your entire face, trunk as well as hear as well as promise that if you lot stare long plenty at your reflection something volition eventually laid about to change? Do you lot opened upward your weblog inward the promise of finding some inspiration as well as stare at the blank page for what seems similar hours on end?
Chances are, you lot most likely have, as well as you're non alone.
This calendar week I wrote upward my Oct Wishlist post, as well as I admit, it took me a lot longer than it should direct maintain as well as that wasn't because at that topographic point were likewise many products I wanted or needed... it was merely because all the things I'm actually wishing for this Oct aren't products you lot tin easily alternative upward off the shelf.
If you lot endure from Atelophobia, depression self esteem or i of many other issues, at that topographic point are times where you lot exactly desire to sit down inward a black room past times yourself, hug a teddy behave as well as block out the exterior world. I've no shame inward admitting that I direct maintain many of these evenings as well as and direct maintain spent many days wishing fourth dimension away as well as then I tin slumber i time to a greater extent than as well as non direct maintain to confront people. Which is i of the reasons why I notice it that much easier to brand friends online than inward existent life, but every bit you lot guys know - i'm working on improving my existent life people skillzzz.
This calendar week i've to a greater extent than oftentimes than non been wishing for a thinner waist, longer hair, brighter hair, blonder hair, silvery hair, a novel wardrobe, those shoes i donated to a charity store two years ago, whiter teeth, straighter teeth, imitation teeth, novel brand up, all the brand up, pale brand up...
It's funny how exactly writing that led me to a minute of realization... If you lot stare long plenty at your reflection trying to notice the things you lot don't like, you'll never notice the things you lot create as well as when I direct maintain a day, even out or calendar week feeling that agency there's i affair that I notice helps me...
I unopen the laptop, accept my brand off, seat my pilus inward a bun, modify into my onesie as well as pass fourth dimension exactly beingness me.
So what does that actually mean?
For me, it's fourth dimension spent without whatever responsibilities or pressures. Where I don't direct maintain to think, brand decisions or worry. I notice that living a busy life tin hateful that I spent a lot of my costless fourth dimension thinking virtually things I haven't yet done, things I wishing to hit but direct maintain no fourth dimension for as well as things I could direct maintain done better. I ever appear to direct maintain constant doubts running though my hear which tin brand me insecure or less confident inward myself as well as there's zip that experience ameliorate virtually myself than a nighttime of sitting or as well as then inward my pants, playing video games as well as napping.
I oftentimes worry if i'll ever instruct over my fearfulness of non beingness proficient enough, or if it's a feeling i'll ever ship alongside me. Although on the other side, I can't assistance but shout out back that what if it's my fears of failure that brand me driven, ambitious, as well as determined...
...and without those fears, would I nonetheless direct maintain the same passions, goals as well as expectations?
Em xxx
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